A victim attitude is not always easy to recognize. Not only because you are often “blind” to it, but also because it camouflages itself very well. There are those who are extremely dutiful or those who quite naturally assume that they are wrong and/or to blame. There are also those who can accept praise very badly or the perfectionists among us…
The victim attitude is a state of powerlessness
If you are in the victim attitude, you are superficially on the defensive. You are in a dead end. Whether it is the pre-assumed judgment from the outside that seams to push you into victimhood. Or a personal belief system gives you a victim-like opinion. Early childhood imprinting can favor the attitude of being a victim of circumstances, of the machinations of others. In my opinion, the Christian churches have significantly shaped our genes and past lives in terms of victimhood.
In this mindset – to be a victim, to remain powerless – life doesn’t go any further. You’re stuck and there’s a good chance you’re suffering a lot.
It is important to understand that the solution is not to become a perpetrator to free yourself from the cycle of suffering as a victim. This is just the other side of the same coin…
A victim is always a perpetrator at the same time, and vice versa.
This may be difficult to understand if you are currently in a suffering victim situation – I understand that well. Even a perpetrator is rarely willing to acknowledge his own victimhood. Although it would ultimately be valuable to look at this shadow and dissolve it lovingly. Both are connected and always create confusion, conflicts.
Perhaps these examples will help to shed light on the opaque situation:
Those who suffer can trigger a guilty conscience in others. And so – indirectly – exercise power to get what is desired and not openly expressed. Those who hurt other people emotionally will become more and more lonely as a result. Others will retreat or band together to take action against the ruthless human.
Of course, there is much more entanglement of perpetrator and victim. But I believe these examples show essential elements of the problem.
If a person uses the creative power that is always present and available to everyone, then there is a deep transformation. And this leads out of the impasse. Then, finally, one’s own life can be actively shaped according to the desires of the soul.
If one’s own creative power is consciously used, this generates a really positive, constructive energy.
You will create for yourself what you really need in order to be able to live happily and more meaningfully. And these are first of all very basic things, like enough and restful sleep, good and healthy food, sensual body happiness, play & fun, a healthy work-life balance …
Maybe you check now how it looks like with you? There is nothing to do?
Then you should not be in the victim attitude anymore.
However, if you already see aspects in the topics just mentioned where there is clearly room for improvement, then there is a possibility that you are still in a victim attitude.
And you do not have to stay there.
Let’s take the example of the perfectionist. When is a piece of work or even just an email really perfect – finished? Perfectionists work on something until it seems perfect to them, until something is error-free and flawless. Or, and here exactly the victim attitude shows up, the work is improved until the assessment says it is perfect enough for the environment. May it be a protection, happen out of indirect control or whatever. Crucially, a perfectionist is caught in his own spiral of the anticipatory assumption of never-being-enough. And thus constantly overtaxes himself, confronts impossible-to-fulfill challenges. A perfectionist is both a perpetrator against himself and a victim of his own actions. Within this cycle, no constructive unfolding of talents, no real happiness and peace is possible.
By perfectionism I do not mean the quite natural and playfully curious striving for ever increasing perfection. One is compulsive. It hurts. The other makes happy, easy and free.
Where are you right now in what is important to you?
Some important tips to dissolve the victim attitude…
First, identify the situations in which you are in a victim mindset. This may take some time to list. Because as mentioned above, the victim attitude – unfortunately almost socially acceptable – is often well disguised.
Write everything down in short sentences – this is very important from my experience.
Then think about how you could do it differently based on a concrete situation – write down these possibilities as well. At least three! It is important that you never name only one or two ways. Always find at least three other scenarios.
This way you create flexibility – and thus freedom.
Then look at your notes as often as it seems right to you. Check how far you are.
With at least three other scenarios you create for yourself creative ways out of a victim attitude. Because what you consciously perceive can be changed by you.
You only need to implement it. So remind yourself again and again. With self-made posters, stickers, entries in the calendar…
At the beginning there is the powerful decision to get out of the victim attitude – for good.
And if despite everything you do, you are still stuck in old behavior, then it may be that you need life-energy block release or harmonization of karma.
If you speak German: Exactly for this reason I recently created the video “Opferhaltung verstehen und endlich aufgeben” as a webinar for you, at home.
With spiritual energy work always supporting you in the background. Since I know that my coaching sessions are not possible for everyone – even though experience shows that often only a few sessions are necessary – this is one way I can support you in a simple way with the help of Rainbow Reiki®.
Even if you don’t speak German, which is the case with most of my English friends, just by focusing on your victim and perpetrator attitudes, consistently, you will be able to achieve good results.
Take the Chakra Energy Cards, if you get stuck and ask for the learning theme behind a situation or stuck attitude, this can also help.
You can order the Chakra-Energy Cards through my publishing house, write an email to Hans Vogelei wlv@rainbowreiki.net or through amazon.
Best wishes, your Walter